In the distance there are various conversations surrounding me. The content mediocre yet worth my blogging. One woman complains about her job, and her red blazer is burning my eyes (no the woman is not me because I have no job, nor a red blazer, though I can make eyes burn). The woman receiving the wretched news is a loyal friend wearing royal blue. She nods and sips, sips and nods and in that moment, I thank all those royal blue loyal friends out there for putting up with people like Red, like me.
Actually, I’m a loving person, but humility does not hurt. What hurts is the bantar between this couple next to me. No way do they know what Pulp Fiction or what a library is, but it’s not their tech age that makes my inside cringe, it’s words like “I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t let me check your phone” or “baby, baby, baby, listen, listen, listen.”
A. You are in a coffee shop so the chances of him hearing you is slim, yet our chances very great. (enter rude blog about strangers).
B. I really think people under 13 shouldn’t date. Then again, this could be the single 24-yr old talking.
C. Pulp Fiction was such a great film glad it didn’t have to start as a paperback.
I digress.
The distant chatter is alarming me. I start wonder if they can hear my thoughts as much as I can hear theirs. Their eyes say it all, as I slouch my beanie over my eyes a bit. My hands are on the home row key so I can still type away diligently without being discovered.
The sense of personal space has been transformed with the movement of coffee shop dwelling. I’m not too mad about it since I do favor a crammed subway. Preferably in London. But here I am in a coffee shop in California, hoping this dwelling will take me somewhere. But unlike that subway, this shop has me seated, dormant and I’m eavesdropping.
Tel me mister, have you ever spelled mister with more than two letters? Yeah me either until now. Also it’s starting to alarm me that I may have the exact same schedule as this partially homeless man who sits across me every m/t/th. He falls asleep often, which only uproots jealousy on my part, because I get tired too. But I probably uproot his j with my beanie. I think about giving it to him, but my initial concern is that my bangs are super dirty. Image. What joke. This has become too candid and I’m only writing this because I was told a good writer writes, and this beats writing the top ten reasons why I shouldn’t be single and the hundred reasons why I am.
All this to say, please join me the next time you are in the neighborhood so you can vouch that I’m in fact not that woman in red and that babies are in fact in romantic relationships.
- Comedy writing
- Musician/cafe artist performer
- Editorial assistant, still.
- Single forever
- Marriage tomorrow
- Screenwriting
- Junior college re-re-re-enroller/a college student for the thrice time.
- All organic, non processed food diet.
- Throwing out my childhood Beauty & the Beast blanket—I mean if I can find that darn, comfy and cozy..silly thing…
- Piano classes, again.
Nose piercing- Grad school (broken record)
- Asking the next cute boy I see out.
- Quitting my internship (is that even called quitting?)
- Residing in TN for a glimmer of time.
- Health insurance
- Photography business
- Not purchasing a return flight for my time in Seattle in February.
- Chopping my hair (I won’t)
Business cards
“———” means I’ve accomplish it or basically have.
And this my friends, is why the good Lord has bestowed me this patient, rich and leisure time in my life to petition, wade, pray, cry and pace the floor of my hopes and desires and fickle obsessions.
I pondered and weighed all the no’s and yes’ I’ve been given and think of the Maker who tells me such things.
When I count something as a loss, I simply put truth behind a Christmas tree instead of a savior’s birth. Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas trees, the trimmings, jingles and ugly sweaters, but that’s just happy. I live to seek contentedness. Seek because I often lose, but seek because I often find—over and over again. True, most of us probably can’t seem to catch our breath during this time of year, but truly, we never really do. There’s a specific magnifying glass that hovers about our heads during this time of year. I’m curious to what most would fine.
For my sake, I hope it’s merry and bright, but I also hope it’s patient and right.
From a warm cup of coffee to another, from untied shoes to another, from one hearty laugh to another, from a tangled head of hair to another, from dry and cracked hands to another, from sore limbs to another, from watery eyes to another, from bent corners of paper to another another, from a regret to another, from one broken record to another, from one mean word to another, from one nice word to another, from one prayer to another, from one trite excuse to another, from rapid raindrops to another, from a chilling wind to another, from a sister to another, from a brother to another, from a lover to another, from an enemy to another, from a broken piece of glass to another, from a holiday card to another, from a bystander to another, from a denial to another, from a steaming pot to another, from a “cheers” to another, from a passport stamp to another, from an impending increase of student loans to another, from freedom in Christ to another, from a desire of freedom from want to another, from a hug to another, from missing buttons on a button up to another, from one painting to another,from cracked plates to another, from a desperate “please” to another, from a humbled “ok then” to another, from one soul to another—thank you for mending, bending, beginning and ending. thank you.
The crucible of loss, uncertainty and/or brokenness (in all ways or even one) forges a crucial resilience that fuels a consistently fully engaged life. Adversity, introduces us to ourselves and there’s nothing that can make my eyes more delightfully sore than an image of a girl who willingly clasps onto an inherent fullness.
I must:
- Edit and finalize my first official music guide piece for 2012.
- Finish this almost watered-down iced americano before me, stat.
- Meditate on whatever I think I need more of and then give it to God.
- Make 31 boxes out of patterned paper for the Advent season.
- Trim my bangs. Always.
- Update my Amazon contact information with new a #, credit card and wish list.
- Write in my journal to remind me that November though did not exist, actually did.
- Buy a flashlight for Wendy! (I always forget the flashlight).
- Discard all things that remind me of turkey.
- Check flights for Tennessee, because I miss my family.
- Finalize my “Christ is Born!” playlist for the jolly month of December and first two days of January.
- Respond to a heavy correspondence.
- Discern my actions for the upcoming month into the new year, with prayer and great patience.
- Get a Christmas Tree.
- Purchase at least one gift so I can have the upper hand in the battle that is with self amidst consumerism. Woops.
- Re-introduce myself with what Advent and what it really means, entails and directs for us to do.
And I have about a day and a half to do these things..
E Z.
•One can easily fall in love numerous times in a day due to 1. The seemingly universal agreement among men to wear (for the most part) tailored suit pants when on the way to work, fitted coats, come-hither scarves and a fresh-like scent. 2. There seems to be only men groups at breweries and pubs we frequent and 3. Their accent is like a hymn during a dark age.
•I’ve had only the best beer and foods by my surprise (more so the latter) and I’m soo loving it. From lamb to game and the freshest eggs and milk, my foodie self is elated.
—sub point: I’m also fasting for about a lifetime when I get back because you can practically roll me through any english corridor (and Paris has yet to come) but in all honesty, I ain’t mad, just give me that lamb shank.
• It seems only American milk makes me faint. Cheers to overcoming dairy obstacles.
•Generosity and hospitality from our friends and friend’s friends have been SUCH a blessing, I can hardly stand it (but will because I need to).
•God is indeed, everywhere. And faithful.
•Taste, see and know. That has become a life declaration.
•Seriously, I love the frigid cold and it happens to really love me.
•Every university in the U.S. should have brick walls, a garden, royal gothic influenced architecture, professors that look like McGonagall and a prayer chapel (or at least 3 of 5).
•When crossing, right then left is just plain unnatural.
•AND I sleep way too late and wake up too early when I travel. Cue: goodnight.
- Taking the time to make breakfast.
- Prayer in the morning, like before the birds chirp.
- Conversation with new though familiar friends.
- Efficiently buying all things travel-sized and not breaking da bank.
- Psalm 16.
